Friday, August 28, 2009

Reclaiming the Hood

The president of Mission Year sent out his newsletter and as I read through it, it was a good reminder to me why I moved to West Philly and why when I settle down whereever and whenever that may be, my heart is in the hood. I miss Philly


08/26/09 | Reclaiming the Hood

Dear Friends,

I live in the hood, and it is the place where I want to live by choice. I have not been forced to live where I live, nor are my choices limited. I think it is a great place to live. In fact, I believe it is one of the better places to live. It certainly has it challenges that drive me crazy but it is home, and there is no place like home in the hood.

I am often asked why I have chosen to live in a neighborhood like the one in which I live, and I am often criticized for inviting others to live here as well. It’s as if I have asked them to commit a crime of some sort! I have heard every reason why I should leave from "how can you raise your kids there?" to "you grew up there, why would you want to stay?" I have had people from all races declare the place where I live as a terrible place. My choice of home has been referred to as a zoo, a hell hole and an insane asylum. And these are the things that are said to me directly! I can’t imagine what is said when I am not there.

The hood has been a place where people who live there are constantly told they should be looking to get out. In fact, those who were able to "escape" have done so joyfully. I understand the challenges, but this escape mentality is flawed because it leaves millions of people left to think they are nothing because they don’t have what it takes to get out. I just can’t see how that works. I can’t see how it is ok to label that many people as inadequate.

The hood has taken on this negative connotation because the only things talked about are the challenges, but there is incredible beauty in my neighborhood as well. Let's start with the fact that I do indeed know my neighbors and most people in my hood know their neighbors. The people who live on your block are people you get to know. I am not best friends with all my neighbors, but I do know when they work and their schedule. I can tell if something is not right around their house or if there is a strange face around. Another cool thing about my neighborhood is that there are neighbors here who have lived here for 40, 50, and 60 years. They represent history and their lives and stories always encourage me and give me examples of stability to point my children towards. My hood also knows how to celebrate, and on any given holiday you will see family and friends gathered together to spend time with each other. This is because we have elderly neighbors whose homes are where the family gathers together on special occasions. It's really good to see traditions continued around here. There are also the neighborhood stores that people can walk to. These stores are not always in the best shape, but they are vital to people who don’t have cars to get to larger markets.

In a hood where you usually hear about low-income levels, crime, and bad schools, there exists some great beauty to admire. Our team members get an opportunity to see this firsthand as we build relationships. You have supported us financially in making this happen. You can also experience this by taking time to look past the hype of the day and see the incredible people that are there. When is the last time you looked for beauty in the middle of your city? I recommend a visit with new eyes - eyes that see people as part of God’s wonderful creation. I think we all could use a little of the hope that rests in the middle of the hood.

With Love and Thanks,

Leroy Barber
Leroy Barber, President
Mission Year

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Be Still

There is something about the beach at night, darkness, stars, silhouettes, the gentle breeze and the tranquil sound of the waves reaching the shore. Andrew and I walked along the beach tonight, sat and talked for quite a while, mostly about our frustrations, questions and doubts. I spent some time being silent. One of my favorite verses is the simple idea that we are called to, "Be still and knowl that I am God." I have a lot of questions for God, have been questioning Him a lot lately, but sitting there and starring out at the stars and the expansive ocean made me feel ok about trusting God despite my uncertainty. I pray that I have the strength and obedience to walk it out, I'm not sure at all what it will look like

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Problem of Pain

Love can forbear, and Love can forgive...but Love can never be reconciled to an unlovely object...He can never therefore be reconciled to your sin, because sin itself is incapable of being altered; but He may be reconciled to your person, because that may be restored."

~Traherne

C.S. Lewis' problem of pain is kicking my butt. I have known pain too well in multiple forms. Unfortunately for me, as tonight yet again demonstrated, i am quick to mask my pain through anger, frustration and withdrawl. This is the perfect book to follow up the Shack b/c it complements the limitations of that story, by building a logical argument for the necesity of pain and its role in freedom and love, among other attributes of God. In the simplest form, according to Lewis, the problem of pain follows: "If God were good, He would wish to make His creatures perfectly happy, and if God were almighty, He would be able to do what He wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore God lacks either goodness, or power, or both." He begins by suggesting that our definitions of terms such as happy, good and almighty must be equivocal or else the preceding argument is unanswerable. After reading The Shack, there was still a part of me that felt like it was bogus and that Mack didn't need to go through all that and that Misty was robbed and that you can spin a pretty story, but the bottom line is still the bottom line. Reflecting on Lewis' writings on pain really points out to me how much I judge God, just as Mack did.

I have returned the favor of God creating me in His image, and I have made Him in mine. Lewis proposes that pain is the necessary byproduct of choice which is imperative to freedom. Eliminating choice would eliminate pain, but it would also eliminate our capacity to love. One of the things that sets us apart as Christians is the fact that, "we learn from the doctrine of the Blessed Trinity that something analogous to "society" exists within the Divine Being from all eternity- that God is Love, not merely in the sense of being the Platonic form of Love, but because, within Him, the concrete reciprocities of love exist before all worlds and are thence derived to the creatures." It's amazing to realize that God is both further from us and nearer to us than any other being.

Kindness is primarily concerned with preventing its object from escaping suffering rather than desiring that it be good or bad. God, being love, is more than this.

He really wants readers to recognize that pain is a beautiful dimension of His love for us, that "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains." We were created for His pleasure and created to love Him, but above all we were created that God may love us. Because of His character, "His love must, in the nature of things, be impeded and rebelled by certain stains in our present character, and because he already loves us He must labour to make us lovable. We cannot even wish, in our better moments, that He could reconcile Himself to our present impurities." Pain tends to be the necessary byproduct of this removal process of our stains and infirmities. He goes on to say that, "Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal. Love is more sensitive than hatred itself to every blemish in the beloved...Of all powers he forgives most, but he condones least, he is pleased with little, but demands all."

I know little of love, but lots on pain...sigh

i'm learning




Sunday, August 2, 2009

Glow Sticks in Church

As spiritual and amazing as church was, it was also extremely bizarre. This week is the pastors birthday and the church had a celebration for him during the service. The only song we sang in English all morning/afternoon was a drawn out lounge version of "Haaapppy Birrrtthhdaaayyy." The pastor's family was escorted to a couch which had been dragged on stage and sat watching the festivities unfold before them. A trumpeter with about as much skill as my sister after her weeklong venture into the instrument died along with the elephant shrills she produced in our basement. There were banners and dancers coming down the aisle and many signs throughout the congregation that were lifted high and waving. My favorite were the Obama style "Change You Can Believe In" with a picture of their pastor preaching. Someone even had a blown up picture of his head on a tongue depressor. Several people had colorful umbrellas that they were twirling to create a hypnotic element. Four men carried a rick shaw styled flat that had a cake on it and delivered flowers and gifts to the pastor and his wife, who were shown on the projector as if they were olympic figure skaters waiting for their scores. I felt like I was watching a Korean Soap opera because I had no idea what was going on. However, all of this paled in comparison to my favorite part, before I knew it the lights were dimmed and people had glowsticks and were waving them around. There was a team from New Zealand and another from California and they were just cracking up. I finally got my glow stick and waved it around. When things calmed down the congregation (about 250) went up to the pastor to thank him and his family for their work and heart for the church. It was a bit odd and overwhelming, needless to say. Not quite the same pastor and "First Lady" style worship I'm used to in black churches, but it was interesting, quite culturally different than anything I've ever experienced in church before.

Yesu

I almost skipped church this morning. I know that church in other countries is usually a full day commitment and I needed sleep and might want to do some more exploring. Before I went to bed, I had decided that I wouldn't make an effort for church and so shortly after hitting the pillow at 1:54 a.m., my phone rings at 7:48. I know that picking up the phone would be tantamount to an agreement to attend church, and so I had an instantaneous internal discussion before groggily agreeing to meet Jarun for church in five minutes. ugh... i hate mornings.

We get to church and I realize I don't need to be there for another hour and a half and I try to hide my extreme frustration and fatigue. Well, I needed to be there today and I needed to be there then. I've been asking God to reveal things to me and he met me this morning. God is about community, He teaches us through our covenant family and calls us to bring others along with us as we seek to do community and die to others that they might live. My favorite picture of community was during communion. I was a bit confused because the A/V was malfunctioning and there was no English translation, so that after the pastor prayed over the cup, I was caught off guard when members traded cups and then again and passed them around several times before finally consuming the represenation of Christ's blood. How cool, I've never seen a way to make communion such a personal yet communal acknowledgement of God's reign over all. I think we should start to do that.

Before church stared, J and I sat in the dining area talking to pass the time while we waited for the service. I asked him about his background and listening to his story was the perfect capstone to my first trip to Asia. A shade under 95% of Thai's are buddhist, the national emblem is a Hindu/Buddhist symbol and so it follows that J grew up in a buddhist family. His father passed away when he was an infant and he grew up being very devout in disciplined in his devotion to his buddhist faith. He said it was very peaceful, but that he was alone and unhappy. He met Ajun (Pastor) A from Bangkok Liberty Church, and the pastor shared the story of Jesus with him. J told me how he learned that God could be his father, his joy, his community and looked at me and told me, "Pete, Jesus is my everything." I felt his heart and see it with his life, his hospitality, it was very emotional I choked up a bit as I stammered, "Me too J, me too." Is Jesus my everything? I am easily distracted and focus on other things all too often. J challenged me and convicted me in his simple testimony.

We finally moved into the sanctuary for the service and began singing shortly as things started. They posted the English translations for songs beneath the Thai characters, which I still marvel at the detail and complexity of all the letters, diacritical marks and such. The only words I could identify were "Hallelujah" and "Yesu" At the core of worship, those are the only two words we really need to praise and so God needs to strip things down to simple terms for me sometimes because I'm so dense.

The first song spoke about the name of God being proclaimed from the mountains to the valleys and the spirit of God filling the air for the people to breathe in. Having experienced a few of the gorgeous mountains and valleys in Thailand, I thought about the 65 million people that live here. The indigenous hill people are pretty receptive to the gospel, as 12% of the 4 million tribal people are Christians, and the majority of mission energy and resources are geared to them, even though they are such a small percentage. I say that to emphasize that if the entire nation is .4-.5% Christian and a decent percentage of the hill people are Christians, the number of urban and mainstream Thai's that are Christian are infintesimally small. Fifteen people or so, including J's cousin went forward after the service to receive Christ, most of them wearing the red VIP name tag that I embarrassingly removed almost as soon as I received it.

I read along to the worship songs and meditated upon the simple words that spoke to me. I love worshipping with my brothers and sisters around the world to see how they praise God. Repeatedly I am struck by God's voice to me in foreign lands to recognize his magnitude, his greatness and how he calls me far beyond myself and my issues to focus on Him, praise Him, give myself to Him and love others. I get so wrapped up in my little world and quickly make God about me and Him and then just me. This morning God said to me, Pete, you just need me, let go of those things that you are holding onto and fear and give yourself completely to me, worship me, follow me and you will walk in true freedom. Most of the songs this morning spoke about freedom. My favorite one said that we have a song of freedom in our hearts, a song of joy in our souls and that we are called to liberty through worship and devotion to Jesus. Simple things, yet I am stubborn.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Hello Moto

Riding through Bangkok on the back of a moto was as much fun as riding an elephant in the mountains. I loved it. I feel free and who i am supposed to be when i'm in the city. I connect to God there. I love being in the open. Cars are so stiffling and disconnected from the environment, but motos can weave in and out of traffic and bypass the stagnancy and really make the most of the cityscape. We passed many shrines, temples, colors buildings, children smiling, tired faces, lots of food vendors and others selling their wares. Passed malls, schools and parks. The ride from the city to my hotel is a bit far, so we took the moto to the train station, rode the train and then i walked the streets a bit before finding a taxi and speaking a few words of Thai and gripping my hotel direction card tightly. Culture is amazing. Talking Liverpool and Manchester City football in stunted English while Thai radio dj's talked rapidly and the only words I could understand were "Neyo" and "Green Day" in the midst of the tonal hodgepodge. I giggled.