Swallowed In the Sea

"Swallowed In The Sea"

You cut me down a tree
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong
You put me on a shelf
And kept me for yourself
I can only blame myself
You can only blame me

And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me

And I could write it down
Or spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
Or swallowed in the sea

You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling that's when I
Decided to go to sea

You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see

And I could write a book
The one they'll say that shook
The world, and then it took
It took it back from me

And I could write it down
Or spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
And you'll come back to me
Not swallowed in the sea

Ooh...

And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me

The streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me

Oh what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget but not forgive
Not loving all you see

Oh the streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
Yeah, you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

I love this game

Tonight's the MLB All-Star game. I love baseball, and although the game is tainted because of steroids, to me it is still such a pure game. Part of my love for the game is because of my

childhood. Playing baseball, going to baseball games, collecting cards and watching on tv. My dad would order the special summer package, which also included the disney channel so that we could watch Orioles games in the summer. No a/c, but i'd rather have baseball. I've always struggled to feel close to my dad, but he speaks the language of baseball and I know he loved me the way that he would practice in the back yard, shag flies in Mr. Dustins fields, go to the little league fields or wherever. He loves baseball. His parents didn't let him play a whole lot as a kid, and I think he wanted to give us that chance. I was never the best, had some decent strengths, but I loved the game, and I loved to play it the way it was made to be played.

The all-star game was always one of the highlights of the summer for me. I remember being 11 and going to the all-star fan fest in Baltimore. To this day, it is one of my highlights from being a

kid. I think I liked it better than disney world. The all-star game was the only other day besides New Years that my brother and sister and I could stay up past midnight. Watching the all star game was a big to-do. My mom made special snacks and we were allowed to pick out our favorite

foods at the grocery store. The three of us kids would camp out in the family room and have our own sibling sleepover. Tonight as I watch the game, away from my brother and sister, cheering for a different team than I grew up following I'm still the same kid that loves the game that is so simple, pure and elusive. In four days my sister will be married and us kids won't be the same as we were. I remember tearing up my first visit to africa just after Heidi was engaged seeing an "Africa Tree" for the first time after growing up with our "Africa Tree" in our back yard. Things change and change can be good, but there is just something sweet and simple about the way things used to be. Go Phillies and NL!

La Feria!

Sadly, there are many orphans in this world, both physically and spiritually. Many time, physical orphans embody the shining characteristics of confident sons of the Father. As a son, i have a heart for sons that are fatherless. What beautiful and intelligent children wander the streets of Guatemala. Without much family beyond the fraternity of children in similar circumstance, they are forced to do life together in a way in which God never intended them to live. The city center in Antigua is marked by the young boys with their lunch pales that head off to work seeking out tourists and residents to shine their shoes for a small fee. We had been talking about the kids throughout the day, small boys, older boys and some men all wandering around trying to make some kind of living by shining shoes. What happens to them after they shine the shoes, where do they sleep at night, where will they be in five years? These questions ran through my head as I strolled through the tranquil pastel colonial mecca. We were talking through some hard conversation and were praying at the park when several of the kids scurried up and dove for my shoes interrupting our prayertime. We began talking to the kids about things, their names, family, and soccer. I love how universal soccer is, i love to talk about it with people from all over the world.

As much as I love Guatemala, their soccer team is really dirty. I can't stand Carlos Ruiz, their best player and so I tried to convert them, to no avail to my perspective. At least we could agree on Barca. In the midst of our discussion we started talking about la feria, which was in town. The rides cost only a few quetzales, less than a dollar and I imagine that they don't have many chances to celebrate and to just be kids. Over the past few years, celebrating has become something important, especially to those that have so much stress, so many burdens, pain and not enough resources to just stop and celebrate life and enjoy. Before you knew it, we were off to the fair. Three kids joined us, but by the time we had gotten there, we were eight in number. The kids were so eager and so excited hugging us and grabbing our hands and talking about which rides they wanted to go on. I definitely have Yes Man tendencies and so there wasn't a thought in my mind as we got there and the rides looked to be a bit shady and non-Osha approved. One of the little boys was afraid to ride the ride and so he held our bags and screamed to us as we went past him forwards and backwards around and around. The simplicity of our stripped down spanish conversation as we whirled around at high speeds, our stomachs dropping out and a bit fearful for our safety but feeling so alive and knowing that the kids felt it too. You can't get better than that.

We went to the bumper cars next, which didn't have petals as they just jerry-rigged the wires when you paid your five quetzales. All the signs were in French, and i wondered where this recycled ride had come from and how safe it was. These thoughts were gone as soon as the ride started and the kids eyed us up and started coming for us. Driving is something that always makes kids feel like grown-ups and feel in control and the kids had a blast and I laughed from my gut, that good kind of laugh when life makes sense despite so much uncertainty. We enjoyed a few more rides and returned to the unsafe rueda locura and enjoyed the lights and perspective on the city. To me that view is just as spectacular as the view from the hill of the cross high above the city. We enjoyed some tacos and treats, mine tasted like tacos al jabon, pero todo esta bien. What a great time. We walked back and bought some grapes. I snuck a math question in as I asked Carlos how much change we should receive from the uvas. Two of the kids were fake fighting on the ground and just having a blast. We had a great time with the kids, i love kids, i love the things they teach me about myself, about the parts of myself i need to let die, the parts i need to cultivate and when to just shut up and enjoy things for what they are, where i am. I went back to the U.S. and I can only imagine where those kids are tonight, but they will stay with me. Groggily standing in the elevator heading up to work, I look at my shoes and I smile at the lessons and great times we shared together. Kids shouldn't have to live alone, have to work or hustle to get by, but it was beautiful for me to see the community, the fellowship and the closeness that they share. Someday I'd love to work with the street kids of Guatemala so they don't have to live by themselves. They may be orphans in this world, but they sure know a lot about fellowship and community and have lots to teach people like me.

Love languages

In all my travelings, one country has managed to maintain a stronghold on my heart. There is something that draws me back to Guatemala time and time again. For me it is a place of refuge, freedom and rejuvenation. The scenery is varied and breathtaking, amongst the most beautiful places I have ever been to, but it is so much more than that which speaks to me. Blellca often says to me that I have a corazon tierna, but it is la gente, the pueblo that have the tender hearts that brings me healing and wholeness. Friends that will entertain my crazy plans, receive me on short notice, listen with gentle ears and concerned spirits, drive extended distance just to see me for a few minutes and pour into my heart, teaching me to live, to love and to trust in God alone.

The prodigal son has been my story this year, for many years actually, but I have connected to it in marvelous ways unlike ever before, exploring the idea of sonship versus the vagrant wandering of an orphan who constantly must prove to himself and others that he has worth and belongs. The reckless son who wishes death upon his father, forsaking the security and identity he has at home for the futility and pain of distant lands. For me, many times I have had to wander to distant lands to be drawn back home to my identity in my Abba Father. I relive Adam's original rebellion in the Garden of Eden everytime I run off to seek my validation and my strength anywhere but in the arms of Christ as a beloved Son of my Heavenly Father. Hurt I return to Jesus, confused and spurned by the world, yet subconsciously resolute to pursue the same course of action later on when I think I will be more successful. Jesus, allow me to stop, to rest and recognize that on me, your favor rests.

Tragically, Guatemala is a land of many fatherless children, orphans in the flesh. Civil war, domestic abuse and other crimes have ravaged such a beautiful place, and yet in the ashes, there is a quiet resilience. I sensed it playing soccer in the rain overlooking the high country, where smiles were all I could do to communicate with the children who only spoke quechua. Stepping into what seemed like the pages of a National Geographic tempered by the calls of Isaiah and James to true religion in the form of care for widows and orphans, my heart was permanently changed my first visit to this land.

Publish Post

Peace in Lebanon

Hey family,

Tomorrow, which is actually already today here in Lebanon, they are holding elections. Visiting this place has been amazing, it's truly beautiful in so many ways. The food is among the best I've had anywhere (cheese, bread, olives, lamb, a little bit of wine, it's amazing). The landscape is accentuated by beautiful snow-capped mountains, roman ruins,  breathtaking sunsets over the sea, Parisian-esque cafes and pedestrian streets, stunning architecture, rolling hills and valleys and...lots and lots of political signs and campaigning for tomorrow's elections. Because of the national and global security issues at stake, there is a very real, but surreal [to me at least], threat of violence. Even this afternoon it didn't seem entirely real that as i was drinking coffee at a cafe on the street, there were several hundred soldiers in the plaza scattered among multiple tanks and jeeps, monitoring people driving through with flags and honking their horn for their particular party (apparently each party has a distinct sequence of honks for their candidates which is entirely indistinguishable to me). It feels a bit like Y2K.

Today I facilitated some focus group with teens that attend Youth For Christ programs. We were discussing politics, religion, spirituality and identity and there is so much apprehension about the political instability and religious bickering that has encumbered Lebanon for the past 40 years. Many nations have poured money into the elections fighting for a stake in this country and it somewhat leaves the Lebanese left to try and figure out their own identity in the midst of all the voices seeking their attention. Most of the youth love their country, but don't see a future here b/c it is not safe and they are tired of always living scared. 

Religion has been so closely tied to politics that most students are entirely turned off to organized religion, although they are quite open to spirituality and really are searching for meaning and purpose. The Christians are divided politically and will likely determine whether a pro-western/democracy gains power or a syrian and Iran backed hezballah party gain control. Israel ironically supports Hezballah and so do a decent percentage of Christians. It's not a straight forward topic, but it has shown me how little i know and understand about middle east politics and how much i need to learn to truly love people and be a responsible citizen of the Kingdom of God as well as the American government, particularly considering how much the U.S. gets involved in so many countries here. (i.e. U.S. funding a bridge reconstruction project near the Roman ruins I visited that were blown up by Israeli missiles that are also mostly U.S. funded, that's a head scratcher). Regardless of the outcomes, Christians will likely be responsible for pushing the balance of power one way or another and there could be some internal fighting among the christians and against the Christians in general, particularly if the Hezbollah coalition are successful as the polls are indicating.

Pray for peace and stability in this beautiful country and particularly that the Christians would be unified in trusting God alone and not man or any party. Pray for, "God to preserve and build his Church in Lebanon, sanctifying her for her own sake, for Lebanon's sake, and for the glory of God; may faithfulness, humility, spiritual authority and blessed unity in the gospel of Jesus Christ be forged in this furnace of trial."

I aint skerred, God's protected me wherever i've been and I trust Him and there are 50,000 troops deployed to curtail any possible violence. I honestly feel quite blessed and privileged to be here during this important hour. I'm in a very safe place a bit above the city center at the Arab Baptist Theological Seminary a few minutes walk from the Book of Hope Director's family's house. I have a beautiful view down into the city from my window.  If there are civilian casualties particularly in the Christian areas, the U.S. cracks down on Israel, Syria & Lebanon, so that keeps me a bit safer b/c no one wants to bite the hand that feeds them ;c) I love you all and covet your prayers. Don't worry mom, i'm fine!

one love,
pete

These are two articles with a bit more clarity than my ramblings, i can't exactly vouch for the bias in either of them, but they are interesting reading if you're bored :c) 

• this explains about the Christians viewpoints in both parties, i stole the bottom part of the prayer from it: http://www.assistnews.net/Stories/2009/s09060011.htm
  
• this article talks about Lebanon/Israel conflict and why they are supporting Hezballah's coalition: http://yalibnan.com/site/archives/2009/06/lebanon_electio_2.php

Last night we went downtown and walked around and had dinner. I can absolutely see why it's called the Paris of the Middle East, I thought I was in Europe. Beautiful mosques, churches and other buildings, lots of green, the bay is beautiful and the food is amazing. Learning about the history of Lebanon is amazing, I can't believe how much of the history in the past five years I had no idea about or didn't remember. Today doing focus groups at school was really sad to see how bogged down kids are by politics and religion. We were at an evangelical school, which is still attended by a lot of muslim kids, but none of them really saw religion as separate from politics and as anything that offered them guidance or direction in life. They were very talkative and really fascinating. They pretty much all said that they live in constant fear of war and they all said they don't want to live here when they grow up b/c it is too stressful. 

i didn't land in lebanon until about 3:30 a.m. b/c our plane was delayed an hour b/c someone forgot to pick up their duty free bag and they had to call in the bomb squad. Getting through lebanese customs and passport was just as easy as london or canada, i was shocked, maybe b/c it was so early in the morning. I was worried that there wouldn't be a taxi driver waiting, but he was there. He asked me if i was hungry and i said not really, so he proceeded to take me out to dinner. He kept asking me if i wanted girls, alcohol or drugs and i told him i wasn't into those things. He was apparently a christian too and so we talked a bit while he treated me to dinner with a bunch of lebanese guys at 4 in the morning listening to classic rock in the middle of the street at this restaurant on the backstreets of Beirut. We drove up a mountain side and he told me that it wasn't like the U.S. and that you have to throw your trash out the window and i told him i didn't want to and didn't believe in it and he told me i was lebanese now and had to so he stopped the car and i shamefully threw the bag out the window. The view was amazing driving up the mountain-side which looked over a bay that was lit up fairly well for nighttime, the picture doesn't even do justice to it. Half way up he told me to get out and take a look and then we went all the way up to the christian retreat center where i stayed. The sun was coming up by this time and I watched the sun rise on the bay, it was amazing. We got there and he wouldn't even let me pay for the taxi or anything, he was such a cool and crazy guy.There is a giant statue of Mary overlooking the bay that was a few hundred feet from my room and on the other side, i have a view of St. Paul's Basilica which is really old and has amazing gold leafed domed ceilings with incredible mosaics and ornate decorations. The Catholic church still leaves me scratching my head plenty. This weekend was Pentecost and so there were lots of pilgrims that came to the giant statue and even motorcycles passing by at all hours of the night. I checked out the gift shop, but decided to pass on the Virgin Mary bottles of win, cedar ash trays and what not. You can check out the statue and the amazing view from the top of the hill where i was staying http://www.harissa.info/flash.htm

Coldplay!

pleasantly surprised by my lawn experience w/ coldplay, great show. The camera work was really impressive, unique angles, lenses and filtering created really stylized live camera work. The set was fairly simple, but they had some nice changes and some balloon drops, giant yellow balloons for Yellow, that sort of thing.  Chris Martin did a two or three song set half way up the pavilion seating, a few of the songs they changed up the tempo and style, i like that. You can always listen to the album at home. Great mix of old and new stuff. They talked a lot and personalized it to South Florida, which I always like and with the free cd's and downloads they were very appreciative towards the crowd. Obviously they couldn't be as personal as Amos Lee hanging out in the parking lot last week and staying for a two hour plus set, but they talked about how they couldn't do it without their fans and especially all the ones crowded in the grass at the back of the arena. Martin said that many people forget the lawn and they didn't and so they left the stage and walked through the pavilion to the lawn area and did four songs with two guitars, harmonicas and singing. As soon as they started heading to the back, I bolted and jumped chairs and stepped on quilts and got up like 20 feet from the band for the songs they played back there. I was incredibly impressed and couldn't believe that they would do that. The show was phenomenal, usually I hate when people sing along at concerts and the artists stop singing for the crowd to sing, but it worked at times. They gave out the free cd's at the end of it, and so we went to the gate to leave and get our cd and they informed us that they were giving them out at the other gate, all the way on the other side and so 5K people or whatever make a u-turn to head to the other gate, a bit unorganized, but people were singing Coldplay and ooohing and aaahing to Viva La Vida. I grabbed five of the free cd's. Awesome night! Food and sleep now!