Run with Horses

Nike is so inspirational, it's a shame that they have horrible corporate policies. I'm still not completely invincible to their gossamer charm. While I disagree with them in principal, they do have an incredible tendency to evoke inspiration in the common and the extraordinary. Their commercial that plays to the Killers, "All these Things I have Done" is really inspiring. I watched it a few times as I was finding out info on the Human Race. Sadly, the race didn't happen today and I didn't get to go to NYC. I settled for a nice tranquil ten mile run in West Philly alone rather than 10's of thousands in NYC. Maybe next year I'll go run it in a different country. I had a frustrating ordeal last night as I went to my office after midnight to see if it was still possible to participate in the race. No love for me, but it was good. I find myself easily frustrated and I know that I need to step back and look at the big picture more often than not.

I was driving home from my office and I was in a bit of a shouting match with God and just venting frustrations. I mean I've had quite a lot of jank seemingly go wrong for me of late. I'm just trying to hold on. I got back to my house and I was listening to my mixed CD of the moment. Reggaeton, alabanza music, chill music and acoustic worship music, awesome combo. Anyhow, I was listening to this spanish worship song and was belting it out in the car, tears running down my face. Someone came next to my car, and I waved for the person to move on. It's 1:30 a.m. and I'm not trying to interact with people on the street. Well, I realized it was my friend B. He's always trying to hustle some knick knacks and I wasn't in the mood to buy a miniature wicker chair or whatever else he was trying to get a few dollars for. He's got some problems and I've been through a lot with him, but tonight, he ministered to my spirit when I so desperately needed it. He recognized that I was going through some things and spoke encouraging life giving words to me. God sent him to my porch that night and I wept because I was so overwhelmed and confused. I have no idea where God is taking me right now. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm living in Florida, Guatemala, Philadelphia or somewhere completely different in six months.

This weekend there were a ton of block parties, which I love. I think that celebrating is a huge part of life and something I really admire about the city. Block parties are pictures of the kingdom of God to me, great food, moon bounces, basketball, chess games, laughter, spades and dominoes and more. They are a lot of fun when you are part of them, but when you are trying to drive around the city and every other block is shut down b/c of one, it can become frustrating. I had to talk to myself and tell myself to chill out and to be happy for the people having fun. While running the Cobbs Creek trail I passed a half dozen block parties, all very different, but all common in spirit.

I actually passed some people riding horses too. Not something you see every day! As I was thinking about racing and the metaphor of running, it reminded me of the verse in Jeremiah that makes me smile. It says, "If you grow weary in this footrace with men, what makes you think that you can run with horses?" It's a verse that puts you in check and says, step back and take a look at yourself. I actually was able to keep up with the horses for a bit, and they got stopped at a traffic light, hehe, but I know I can't run with horses. It's freeing, i ran in peace and tranquility. God's in control and not me. I'll leave the planning up to Him. I have a tendency to just frick things up. Someday I'll learn to just empty myself. As I was running I was thinking about prayer and how God knows my heart, my desires and I don't so much need to tell them to Him, as I need to let them go and trust in His goodness for me rather than panic