road trip mayhem

Thirty seconds after first setting foot in Africa, the euphoria and the gravity of this event was interrupted by the realization that I would be driving in a car on the left side for the first time. In a completely different manner, this also made me quite giddy. Over two weeks would pass until I would get to try my hand at driving on the “wrong” side of the road sitting in the right hand side of the vehicle.

We finished our project on Friday night and my boss asked me if I wanted to go somewhere to celebrate and explore Kenya. We rented a car to drive to Mombasa, which is near Tanzania on the coast of Kenya. I kept saying “Mombasa” just like the hyenas say “Mufasa” in the Lion King. The road from Nairobi to Mombasa is the most heavily travelled road in all of East Africa. We set off for the coast only to encounter monster traffic. We drove five minutes down a road that dead ended, forcing us to turn around and throw ourselves into an extra 45 minutes of traffic. We slowly made our way through traffic out of the Nairobi city limits. The first 100 km away from the city are among the worst roads I’ve ever been on potholes, ridges, jagged asphalt and narrow lanes. It took us quite a bit longer to get out of traffic and decided to stop an hour or two from Mombasa which is a 500 km drive from the capital. We hit the open road and I remembered that I had some CD’s in my bag. I reached back and grabbed Caedmon Call’s “Back Home” album and I turn around in time to see a herd of 20 giraffe or so clustering among some trees. I was like a little kid, shouting, pointing and staring in wonder at the sight of these majestic giants.

We continued driving and since we had gotten held up by traffic we drove for several hours, forgoing lunch and postponing dinner until we arrived somewhere. Our friend Jackson recommended staying in a town called Voi, which is right next to Tsavo Park where we could go on a safari. We thought about driving through to Mombasa, but it was late and we were hungry and we stumbled upon the Red Lion lodge after looking at some shabby spots and some luxury wildlife preserve lodges. My boss speaks an Indian/British combo accented English when speaking to Kenyans, he says they understand it better, but it just makes me laugh. We get there around 7:30 and an Italian couple owns the preserve and show us around the compound and we decide to stay there. The wife asked us if we wanted dinner and she whipped up an amazing four course Italian meal that was perfecto.

We went to bed a bit early so that we could rise early to go to Mombasa. We stayed in a stone cottage with a loft that opens onto the park facing due east so that the sun rises over the savannah shining straight into our place. The weaver birds in their nests compete with the sun to wake us up first. We had a light breakfast and hit the road to Mombasa, which was only about a two hour drive from Voi. We get there fairly early and I had done a touch of research and knew a few places that we should go to. Fort Jesus was built by the Portuguese in the 16th century to protect the ports and entryway into Kenya, which was the main entry into Africa from India, Europe and the Middle East. The fort looks out over the Indian Ocean and the white sandy beaches beneath it. Mombasa was controlled by the Portuguese, British, Indians, Spanish, Moors and has a real Kenyan influence and so the mixture of these cultures creates a beautiful city steeped in architecture, food, smells, and people with an eclectic background. After exploring the fort, which was breathtaking, we explored the Old Town. This part of the city is marked by balconies and doors in Portuguese and Arabic styles. Giant wooden doors and lofts looking over the city with elaborate trim and woodwork. I really enjoyed this part, especially since our guide Omar took us through the back alley ways and side streets, showing us around. We passed through the street markets, sampling some amazing dried mango and baobab tree fruit until we made our way to the main Indian markets, full of incredible spices and vegetables from Kenya, Zanzibar, India and the Middle East.

I bought some spices and fruit and we headed to the coast to have some traditional African food at a restaurant looking out over the Indian Ocean and a nice beach. We drove through the passing rain storms that you can see approaching from kilometers away. We got back to Voi early enough that we had some time to check out the park. We didn’t know how the ticketing work, but when we checked the gate, they told us that the tickets were for 24 hours so we decided to pay our money and get a few hours in before rising early the next day to drive through the park on our way back to Nairobi (Tsavo Park East is the largest park in Kenya). We get into the park and see some impalas, oryx, wildebeest and other small animals at first. We went on a loop where we saw a whole bunch of giraffes. They are quite inquisitive creatures and just stared at us for quite a while, only 30 to 40 feet away from us, munching on some leaves. Tsavo is known for their elephants and we saw a herd crossing the Savannah and so we took a side loop to see if we could catch them. We didn’t see them, but we came across a waterhole with like 50 zebras, all sorts of oryx, waterbuffalo and plains animals. We saw two safari busses pulled over and while we were looking at the zebras, they were all looking on the other side of the road. I spotted the female lion, leaning forward on a rock in a very prosaic pose not more than 25 feet from the road. We sat in our car for a few minutes taking pictures before rolling up a few feet, at which point I saw the male crouched in contemplation holding court a few meters behind his queen. Seeing him emerge from the bushes was an unbelievable sight. We sat there for a few minutes before driving on to see more baboons, ostriches, mongooses, giraffes, elephants and more. We saw far more than I had hoped to see, in scarcely more than an hour. It was in the game preserve that I finally got to drive in Kenya for the first time. Most guys love to pee outside, it’s just a fact. We stopped and I did my business, staring out over the savannah at an approaching herd of elephants. I jumped into the drivers seat on the right side, driving on the left portion of the bumpy clay trail.

We drove past the lions again and made our way towards the gates as dusk approached. We came to another wide field and I noticed several female lions roaming together. Seeing the others was awesome, but I spotted these myself and was quite thrilled. We settled down at the wildlife camp, another great dinner. My boss and I shared a Kenyan beer sitting around the camp fire under the wide starry sky with Krismas, the Kenyan security guard for the camp, who was rarely seen without his bow and arrow that he wielded in protection. I seriously doubt he’s ever successfully used it. We had some guinea fowl for dinner and went to bed early so that we could awake with the sun and weaver birds for an early morning safari the next day.

They brought us coffee, which was amazing, as all Kenyan coffee is and sipped coffee as we watched the sun arise over the savannah. We hit the park early and saw more of the same, but not quite as many. There is a road that heads towards Nairobi and so we headed back by means of the park. We saw a single elephant that was walking right at us and crossed the road 10 feet in front of us before lunching on some shrubbery right next to the road. It was incredible. The elephants hide is tinted orangish brown by the clay that dominates the landscape. The contrast of the hue of their skin, the green grass and leaves of the Kenyan spring, the grey mountains in the background and the blue sky combine for a majestic scene. My boss is driving along, splitting his attention between the road and the scenery. Today’s drive was through a portion that was torched by a severe wildfire that impacted several kilometers. We had to stop for a herd of almost 50 zebra monopolizing the road. Green buds and brush plants were fighting through the ashy soil to replenish the African landscape and I couldn’t help but hum, “the Circle of Life” in my head, complete with the “hmmnnyabbas hmmnnn hmmnn yabbas.”

We’re driving at a good clip and my boss didn’t see a nasty gorge replete with jagged rocks. Practically as soon as we hit this section, I hear a pop followed by hissing as we pull over. The car has a full spare on the back, which is great, but we can’t find the jack or the lug nut key to get one of the lug nuts off the punctured tire. We find both of those things and go to loosen the tire off the back gate, only to find a key-lock protecting one of the lug nuts on the spare. We had several keys, but none of them did anything to open this lock. We called the owner and told him our predicament and he advised us to just try and beat it and whack it off. For the next hour or so we hammered, chiseled, pried and did whatever we could to get it loose. Keep in mind we are in the middle of the savannah, kilometers from anything or anyone and I’m keeping look and thinking about things like keeping the windows up and having two doors open so that we could safely escape if confronted by a lion or leopard. My boss just laughed at me. Well we finally made some headway chiseling at the lock, which was more or less a fastened slipcover over the lugnut so that it couldn’t be turned. We spent an hour and twenty minutes getting it off and I didn’t think it was possibly because it was a Toyota and was some kind of iron. When it finally came loose we shouted and celebrated, almost more than completing our 50 page youth report for Kenya. We took pictures and replaced the flat tire. We joked as we left the park and hit the highway, heading back towards Nairobi.

Well, we quickly realized that once we passed 55 K/hr, which is not very fast, the tire started shaking and past about 70 k/hr, the shaking was unbearable. We drive like this for an hour and I’m looking out the window ever few minutes and quickly realize that the spare is going to go flat. We pull over in the middle of no where, having gone through two tires and being out of options. We try to flag some people down, to no avail. Finally my boss just stands out in the middle of the road and gets a lift 4 km into the next town with the bum tire, trying to get it fixed. I sit along the roadside keeping track of my accuracy of hitting the giant baobab tree 50 meters from the roadside. My boss got into the town and got the tire fixed and we were running low on Kenyan shillings so he hitched a ride back to our car with a man who tried to rob him and kept asking him scary questions while my boss babbled like a fool, desperately trying to establish humanity so that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, wishing he had left his jewelry and valuables with me at the car.

They finally got back and my boss was overjoyed to see me and I changed the spare, unsure of how well the patch would hold that was fixed using a bottle cap, spit, superglue and a piece of old tire. I kept my head out the window constantly checking the air pressure as my boss swerved trying to miss potholes and bumps on the left side, us groaning in unison when we failed at this endeavor. The final 100 kilometers are just awful and we had over 200 km to go like this and we just held our breath and thanked God for each kilometer that passed without another flat. Nairobi is a bit slow for me, but i was so glad to get there and get to the airport and head "home" to Florida.