Miroslav Volf on Giving

"We love truly only when we achieve that state of self-giving where in some sense we "completely disappear" in the beloved. Yet in our sober moments, we rightly hesitate, knowing well that disappointment is inevitable and that, if we give ourselves so completely, we are likely to end up squandering ourselves."

"No, the one who in love forgets himself, forgets his suffering, in order to think of someone else's, forgets all his misery in order to think of someone else's, forgets what he himself loses in order lovingly to bear in mind someone else's loss, forgets his advantage in order lovingly to think of someone else's- truly such a person is not forgotten. There is one who is thinking about him: God in heaven. Or love is thinking about him. God is Love, and when a person out of love forgets himself, how then would God forget him! No, while the one who loves forgets himself and thinks of the other person, God is thinking of the one who loves." ~Kierkegaard as quoted by Volf

"The self in whom Christ is active is modest. It doesn't give in order to aggrandize itself, prove its moral worth, or demonstrate its power. It can forget itself in the act of giving and reach out to neighbors in love - it gives in order to delight in others and to help them in their needs."

"A rich self lives in the present with contentment. Rather than never having enough of anything except for the burden others place on it, it is "always having enough of everything." It still strives, but it strives out of satisfied fullness, not out of the emptiness of craving. A rich self looks toward the future with trust. It gives rather than holding things back in fear of coming out too short, because it believes God's promise that God will take care of it."

"In the case of the benefit, this is a binding rule for the two who are concerned- the one should straightaway forget that it was given, the other should never forget that it was received. Modest givers forget they have given, hence they resist the recipients' gratitude."

"Givers' forgetfulness and receivers' memory seem at odds with one another. The modesty of givers requires ingratitude from receivers: and the gratitude of receivers feeds the arrogance of givers."

"To forgive is to give wrongdoers the gift of not counting the wrongdoing against them.The condemned wrongdoing has been lifted from the wrongdoers shoulders. The generous release of a genuine debt is the heart of forgiveness."

"All our forgiving is inescapably incomplete. That's why it's so crucial to see our forgiving not simply as our own act, but as participating in God's forgiving. Our forgiving is faulty; God's is faultless. Our forgiving is provisional; God's is final. We forgive tenuously and tentatively; God forgives unhesitatingly and definitively. As we forgive, we always wrong the offender by inadequate judgment and pride; God forgives with justice and genuine love. The only way we dare forgive is by making our forgiving transparent to God's and always open to revision. After
all, our forgiveness is only possible as an echo of God's."