Love is Different

Can't get myself to write much, that's pretty rare. Praying for understanding and perspective. Disappointment is rough, especially when you disappoint and are disappointed at the same time. I kinda feel like I thought I was being real faithful and noble and then I realized I was still being pretty selfish and not real trusting. That was rough to find out. I'm fighting to know the truths that God has promised me. Sometimes I listen to Gospel music and it seems like a bunch of crap to me. I guess that's ok cuz it usually drives me to God in prayer and His word. Though sometimes I even feel that way about the scriptures too. I can usually find a Psalm that fits my mood, even when I'm not looking for unbridled optimism. David was pretty raw, I've been feeling him a lot lately. Rondo reminded me of Tozer's quote that, if my flame is small, it is yet real and there may be those whose candle may be lit by it. I kinda feel that way right now.

God strengthens me and gives me power through my His spirit in my inner being so that Christ dwells in my heart through faith. God can do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine. Be not wise in your own eyes and lean not on your own understanding. My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Some Caedmon's Call to get me to sleep...

Love Is Different

Well it looks like five thousand miles
Broke the camel's back
But it's not as though I had a plan
To win you back
Because I don't know what I want
But at least I know that much
I'm afraid love came right up
And slapped me in the face
But I did not know, no
Cause...

Love is different than you'd think
It's never in a song, or on a TV screen
And love is harder than a word
Said at the right time, and everything's alright
I said love is different than you'd think

And so I won't expect a postcard
From Trefulgar's square
But I'd be lying if I said
I didn't care
Because you can't just turn it off
And put a blindfold on your heart
But I'm off to a good start
We're a continent away
But I do not know, oh no
Cause...

Maybe you're the dream I'm waking from
But I see you everywhere I go
Darling, you are such a mystery to me
You know, don't you know that...



Table for Two

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
Talkin' 'bout soccer
And how every man's just the same
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain

And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By looking around
But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay
I'm given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
But it's not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.